Toys - easy and complicated

Today I have a couple of toy questions - one that many can relate to, and one a bit more advanced. Not everyone uses toys in their sex lives, but they can certainly bring a bit of extra fun to the bedroom, whether you are alone or with a partner(s).

So, without further ado, question 1 - I am in the market for a strap-on, but don't know what to buy! Where do I start? What brands are good and why?

Well first, my dear friend, you should narrow your search down a bit. Are you going to be using the strap-on for anal play or vaginal or both? What size do you want it? Realistic looking or more creative? Since you are asking specifically for a strap-on, you will need to get a harness and make sure the dildo you choose has a flared base. This actually comes in handy if you want to do anal play as well - don't want it to get lost in there!

As far as materials go, I recommend a silicone dildo for ease of use - it is easily cleaned by boiling, or even throwing it into the dishwasher. Toys in Babeland has a lovely variety of just such things. I recommend going to the store, or a similar store near you, so that you can feel them with your own hands and get an idea of what they look like and how they feel. Your friendly sex shop employee may even allow you to try them on (over your clothes, for now.) Just remember to use lots of lube, wherever our little friend will be going.

Now, the question for our more advanced players - How long can you leave nipple clamps on before you risk losing a nip?

First, a word about nipple clamps themselves - make sure that you choose ones either specifically designed for the purpose of use on a body (here are some good examples), or if you use a household item like a clothespin, make sure the clamping will be bearable and that there are no sharp cutting edges or splinters. A test you can use to gauge clamping strength is to pinch the bit of skin between thumb and fingers with the item and see how it feels.

It seems that most BDSM folks recommend that a nipple clamp not be left on a tight setting more than 15-20 minutes. If you are going to use nipple clamps on other parts of the body like thighs or buttocks, the clamps may stay on for a bit longer. You should experiment on yourself before putting anything on your lover/partner. Play safe and pay attention to your partner(s).